If life gives you lemons make lemonade

A negative can be turned into a positive, it's all in the way you handle it. A story to illustrate.

This evening the kids managed to knock over a can of varnish onto my decking. After "grumpy daddy" managed to compose himself I decided rather than simply mop up and dumping the paint I'd paint the garden bench, the original plan for the varnish. Tomorrow, with more time I'll power wash the decking clean.

The bench had been waiting a month to get varnished and the decking much longer. I'll also be a lot more careful about tools and paint unsupervised in the future.

The Lesson

In business we have similar "spills" with our customer. If we handle them well not only can you turn the negative into a positive but the joint effort of over coming the problem strengthens the relationship for the next challenge you will inevitable encounter.

In the words of Og Mandino:
"Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time."

In the words of my daughter:

"hug daddy?"

Sunday Thought - You decide the outcome

One ship sails East,

And another West,
By the self-same winds that blow,
Tis the set of the sails
And not the gales,
That tells the way we go.

(Thanks Jim for the inspiration)

The Cure for Unpleasant Tasks

There are a lot of things that go into creating success. I don't like to do just the things I like to do. I like to do things that cause the company to succeed. I don't spend a lot of time doing my favorite activities.
Michael Dell


We all have those tasks we've been putting off because they are just not much fun. The call to ask for a project extension, the renewal that will require difficult negotiation or the client who has a complaint to be addressed. The natural tendency is to put it off these unpleasant tasks.

There is one simple solution get it over with quickly.

In work relations there is a natural tendency to avoid confrontation, the unpleasant or difficult. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings or our own.

As someone who has to do this daily I can attest to the effectiveness of this strategy of "get it over with quickly". Some observations that may encourage you on this:

• A problem is rarely as serious as you think it is
• A stitch in time saves considerably more than nine
• Superior relationships are forged in adversity
• The client always wants to help
• You always feel better when you've made a start
• Momentum counts
  

Something to try out
Tomorrow morning take your email in box, stop the refresh, and starting from the top start and in sequence: replying, deleting or writing down actions for each email. Do this as fast as you can, 30-60 seconds per mail (momentum counts).

I guarantee that in one hour you will have cut through emails that have been hanging around for days, possibly weeks and feel great.

If you are interested in hearing more about these kind of work strategies check out a favourite podcast of mine by Stever Robbins, Get It Done Guy.

Wisdom in others questions

"Judge others by their questions rather than by their answers." - Voltaire



I found an interesting resource online relating to Relationship Management in an unexpected place, LinkedIn: Answers. Although there are many topics to choose but for now go to Sales and then search for Customer Relationship Management. Once there you will see lots of interesting questions and some great answers.

To get the maximum benefit I suggest you subscribe to the RSS for this category. Once you get a bit of confidence you might want to add your own 2-cents!

Perfect Practice

"Perfect Practice makes perfect"



We all want to be great at something, most of us think you need exceptional talent to achieve this. Talent helps but it may be less of a factor than you might think. If we wish to be the top of our field, what ever that might be, research indicates that constant and deliberate practice with ever-rising goals are by far the most important factors.

I believe this is particularly true for "soft skills" like communication, persuasion (sales), presentation, etc. The tools of good relationship management. In soft skills it is the deliberate aspect that might get neglected. Having a system, what ever it is, provides the framework to act deliberately, measure your progress and improve.

Take a look at the article from Fortune, What it takes to be Great to get a better insight into this observation. The more detailed article in Harvard Business Review, The making of an Expert, is even better if you have a little more time.

Never Eat Alone

This is a remarkable book on the topic of personal networking.

If you are even remotely interested in how to start, nurture and harvest the fruits of great relationships (business or otherwise) you must read this book.


What can I say, Ferrazzi's book hits home on so many levels. I read it about 6 months ago and from the opening chapter I was taking notes or should I say writing all over the margins (the ultimate sign of approval for me). If you want the "how to" guide on business relationship building this is it.

The reviews are at the extremes on Amazon but I would expect nothing less for a book of this caliber and genre. I found the story telling style and personal experiences interesting, others no doubt consider it egotistical.

I challenge you to read it and not be inspired to "connect" with an old friend or colleague.

Network Weaving

Improved connectivity is created through an iterative process of knowing the network and knitting the network

- Valdis Krebs and June Holly



We are all connected. These connections form networks. Some of them personal, some social others business others we may not even be aware of. So how do we take advantage of these networks in business?

Kerbs and Holly in their paper Building Smart Communities through Network Weaving
put forward the idea that it's all about knowing and then knitting your network. The more collaborations among the members of the network the more vibrant and more valuable it becomes.

In getting to know your network there are a number of general patterns that can be observed. The obvious ones being:

• Birds of a feather flock together
• The close by, form a tie

But there are other just as important patterns that strong, effective networks display. For example:

• Diversity maximises innovation (different ideas)
  
• Robustness (more people more connections)
  
• Prominent nodes or hubs (there are always brokers or well connected people)
  
• Many indirect links (don't rely on just one relationship)
  

By actively managing your relationships you can give it direction. Introducing people to each other that would not have normally met creates, knits, even stronger ties.

The paper is a great insight into how you can take an objective view of your own network and then identify areas that need improving.

I recommend you read the paper (it's a short one) and check out the web site www.networkweaving.com for case studies and the blog.

When you know where you are starting from it makes it a lot easier to get to where you want to be.

First Post - Welcome

Welcome to my blog
So why start this blog, I guess I think I have something of interest to say, in particular around Relationship Management in business. I am looking forward to this new experience and I hope to think a little, learn a little, share a little, laugh a little and type a lot.

My goals for the blog

• To be read. This is not a diary, or private project so I will always endeavour to keep it relevant, informative & interesting.
  
• Through sharing my ideas & professional experiences help others with their day-to-day challenges and get help when I pose a question or challenge.
  
• Produce a practical demonstration of my knowledge & experience for colleagues, clients and my employers.
  

What you are likely to see:

• Postings 3 times a week.
• Comments and examples from my daily experiences
• Reviews or references to what every I'm reading (books, magazine, sites, blogs, etc)

What you won't see:

• Reference to a client/customers by their actual name
  
• Negative comments about my employer or contract.